Kyle's boss has been out of town for 2 weeks. He finally gets back tomorrow Why does it matter if Kyle's boss is gone? When the whole department runs with just 3 guys, and one is missing, and the other one normally drives and therefore functions as half of a man when made to stay indoors all day, it causes stress. Stress at work usually means stress at home. And missed lunches, and going in early, and coming home late.
Nixon is sick... again. He got sick the 1st week of December with a cold/ear infection. Followed by me with my StrepFlu(made that up), followed by Deakon with the stomach flu, followed by Kyle with a migraine (and puke in the bathtub), followed by Nixon getting pink eye, followed by Kyle getting the stomach flu, followed by me getting the stomach flu (and the darn sore throat that stayed almost at entire month), followed by Nixon teething (finally got his first tooth Sunday morning), followed by Nixon waking up last night with a runny nose that has quickly turned the nastiest shade of yellow I have ever seen. I AM TIRED... Nixon hasn't slept through the night for almost 6 weeks. I often find myself asleep in the hallway or sitting up watching infomercials while he cries himself back to sleep, usually after I have given up and given his a bottle. Why are you still crying??? Your belly is full, you have been given cuddles. Your bum has been changed. GO.TO.BED.
My in-laws are re-doing their bathroom. Very exciting for them. It starts tomorrow and goes on for weeks. Weeks of peeps being here and banging around. Demolition is scheduled for first thing tomorrow. I just can't.... wait.... Besides them getting an absolutely gorgeous bathroom, the 4, err, 6 of us are sharing the one downstairs. I am already feeling constant pressure of having an absolutely clean bathroom everyday for weeks.
The boiler is broken. No in floor heating. Ok, we didn't freeze, but I miss my floors. It is getting fixed tomorrow... which means yet another man running around the house making noise.
I have this love/hate relationship with my cleaning job. I love the money, I hate the job. Why can't I just have the money? Please. Pretty please? The lab is moving in a month and so I lose half my hours. I will not lie, I am kind of happy, yet this is completely wiping out any "several week Utah stay with the boys" ideas that I have been mentally planning.
It is a new year. That means making plans to be better. I am too tired. Too tired. So tired. Maybe later.
If there was a daily bad mommy award. I would get it today. After the 2nd time Nixon was up (6:30) he miraculously fell right back to sleep and when Deakon woke up I gave him some breakfast and took a nap. This is not the first, or last time this will happen. I have excessive guilt, but I guess not enough to stop doing it. Things got better when we made our green smoothie and then Dad came home for lunch. Somedays this just throws off everything and once I get thrown off while I am tired I turn into a ridiculous person. WHAT, you want to eat some of the eggs I am hard boiling for me? WHAT, Nixon just woke up WAY too early from his nap? WHAT, you ate the rest of the pizza crusts the other night when I was at enrichment and although you claim to have told me, I have no recollection and therefore NOW I have to drive you back to work and run into the store to get the blasted pizza crusts which will mess up Nixon's 2nd nap, therefore he won't take one and I have to turn around and get the kids into the car at 5:50 to come and pick you up after work? No wonder I sometimes hear him mumbling under his breath "Why did I come home today?"
Yes, I yelled at Deakon several times at Safeway.
No, I did not care who was listening.
Yes, I let him pick out a donut.
Yes, I took away said donut after the little skateboarding stunts he tried to pull.
Yes, I ignored him while I checked out and walked out to the car.
Yes, I bribed him with said taken away donut to not cry while I forced him to take a nap, hoping to get both boys down for JUST 1 HOUR while I cleaned the bathroom.
Yes, Deakon went down.
No, Nixon did not.
Yes, I am wasting time ranting and raving on my blog.
NUMBER ONE WINNER....
I am quitting my day job and getting a new one.
Will I miss this?
Absolutely... NOT, that is wheat cereal (aka, POISON) and it is everywhere, and I had to give you another bath...Ok, maybe I will miss it a little.
5 comments:
I think we should share the award! I have been grumpy these last few months of pregnancy, and when something (any tiny little thing) rubs me the wrong way I am grumpy the rest of the day. I just need to write it down to make me feel better and see how crazy I am being. Hang in there!
Oh girl.. I'm so sorry!
Don't feel like you are the only one... every mother has been there - even if they have perfect hair, perfect children and a perfectly shining bathroom on their blog.
And don't feel too guilty. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do when sleep deprived.
I'm so sorry. Those days (weeks, months) are the worst. Know you are not alone. We are all out here doing our best and rooting for each other. (Tip: turn the doorknob around so the lock is on the outside of the bedroom door...they're safe and you can nap. Not that I've ever done that...)
Oh Angi I'm so sorry!! But your ranting did make me crack a smile.... You're so funny! Keep doing what you're doing and it will all work out! Love you! :)
Interesting point of view. I remember those days/nights thinking someday I will be able to sleep, not hear screaming, crying. Not feel like a bad mother. You guessed it, someday is here and it's so stinking quiet!
You will get sleep, Nixon will get better, Deakon will end being a famous hockey player and you won't have to work anymore. Enjoy the moments and when you can't...BLOG about it:) We have ALL been the bad mommy, but it does get better, I promise!
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