Hi

I've obviously ignored this blog more and more.  I've used FB to replace it, I suppose.  I think some of my issue with the blog is that I have a hard time deciding what to write.  Is it a place to put vacation pics?  Fun times?  Sad times?  A daily monotonous journal like the one I keep at work:

JUNE 3, 2014
AM run:  No issues
PM run:  Had to write up johnny cakes, sour sarah, and tiff for throwing an apple around the bus although I thought it was quite funny and if they would just stay in their DANG seats I might have let it go.


I don't want it to turn into a place to put all of my woes... and yet when I ask myself what is going on I often turn negative... and I like to appear happy and chill most of the time, but it just isn't the truth.  I remember struggling my entire teen years with feeling (and acting) like I was always the victim.  It took forever for me to realize that I sabotaged friendships and relationships because I acted like everyone was out to get me.  Nothing was my fault, people should feel sorry for me... yada yada yada.  Now that I've worked for years to change my outlook on life, its hard for me to judge how much to share about the suckage of my life.  Obviously, my life doesn't suck most of the time.  I have a good life.  Good kids, a good Kyle, good (but exhausting) job, good friends, etc.  But everyone has frustrating times.  Everyone has unexpected costs come up that stress you out for weeks at a time and force you to make decisions that hurt... like the one this past month that made it so Kyle isn't heading to Ontario this weekend for his Nana's birthday.  It really sucks, but you have to deal with it.  That's life.  Everyone gets sick (and kids keep you up for 8 nights in a row) and often it's at the very worst time... like the week before the 10K you've been signed up for months and all the running has to come to a halt and you feel as if you will NEVER breath again and have to come to terms that your time is probably going to be worse than last year and that is how it is.

I like to think that I'm a good friend/sister/daughter/mom/person, but when you feel sorry for yourself it's hard to remember that there are a lot of people out there who could use your help and don't want to listen to you complaining.  It's a good thing that Kyle loves me because there are SO many days when I'm top of it all day and then the second the kids are in bed, I'm done.  So done.  Not going to do one thing except sit and whine to him... about everything.  I'm also glad that some days he will sit and listen or try and help me come up with solutions and then some days he looks and me and says, "suck it up Angi."

Because as good as life can be, it is hard.  You do have to suck it up and decide if you are going to be the victim or be a regular person.  Funny thing about this post is that although it does seem like I'm having a bad day, I'm not (besides not being able to breathe properly :)).  Just a reflective day.... and thinking that maybe I'll make a few picture happy random posts before I go off again.

Angi is signing off.  10.6